All educators (parents and teachers) want to help their children or students in their education and personal training. But in order to help a person it is necessary to accept it unconditionally and point it out with love.
A writer said that to influence positively in a friend we have previously won his heart, his friendship and appreciation. It is almost impossible that anyone accept an advice from someone else if the person does not feel understood and accepted. If that child or student feels criticized or unappreciated, he will not improve anything. Instead, He will consider mobbed and he will hide to protect him.
Research to enhance the positive image that the kids can form themselves has been conducted. Conclusions indicate that the most influential factor is the understanding of the feelings of the young. When we recognize their emotions, children grow and change positively. For example, if we observe that a guy is afraid of a dog is better to say him, “That dog has frightened you” instead of reproaches him: “A brave boy is not afraid of a dog.” In the same way, if we look crestfallen and sad it is preferable to tell him: It seems you’re upset about something. If you want we can talk about it, instead of say “No more tantrums in this house. Go to your room until you are calm. ”
When the boy understand that his feelings are legitimate and that parents accept when he are afraid of a dog and when he is sad, it helps him feel good about himself and improve his positive personal image.
Acceptance of others must be accompanied by an unqualified and unconditional affection. Parents always love their children although they sometimes do not approve everything they do or say. They do not take their affection away when because of lack of strength, ability or interest; children do not reach expected school grades or commit one or a thousand of pranks or atrocities.
For a Christian, divine love is the true foundation of its dignity and self-esteem as a person.
In conclusion we could say that when we observe a defect in the pupil is preferable to say an encouraging word instead of humiliate him and throw what he did in his face.
Arturo Ramo García.